what-a-card's Diaryland Diary

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MY FINGERNAILS GROW FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT.

Colleen's C(elebrities)ILF List
in no particular order…

JARED LETO — What can I say? I have a soft spot for heroin addicts. (For the record, I do not care for his black nailpolish-wearing, too-long-hair-having, crying-eyeliner 30STM alter-ego. No, I much prefer him with an infected collapsed vein, yelling, "Why ya alwayz tryna upset me, ma?! Fa Christ's sakes!" Aww.)

YOUNG JOHN TRAVOLTA — Circa "Grease." What a hunk! Summer lovin'? Yes, please!

HUGH LAURIE — Obligatory older man CILF, despite his birdlips.

MARK SALLING — He's on "Glee." Meh on the mohawk, but whatevs.

JOHN STAMOS — SHUT UP. LEAVE ME ALONE. I DON'T CARE WHAT ANY OF YOU THINK.

AARON BEHRENS — Yesss! This man is the singer and groove master flex of Ghostland Observatory. I intensely dig this dude in all of his tight-pants'd, Jesus-shirted, sunglasses'd, high-kicking, wailing, pigtailed GLORY. Something about the way he gyrates his all-too-obvious package amidst a laser storm is positively hypnotizing.

Last but certainly not least, he who shall FOREVER be my celebrity crush:

ABRAHAM LINCOLN — No explanation necessary.

TYPE:
— dark hair.
— straight or wavy hair.
— not brown eyes.
— names that start with J?
— scruff.*
— solid jawline/cute chin.
— nice arms.
— a clean, white, crooked/smirky smile.
— olive skin tone.
— funny/appreciation for sarcasm.
— musical, apparently.
— not very hairy.
— umm, I think the majority of these men are married… oops.
— BAMF.

*In reality, while it's nice to look at, I don't particularly enjoy kissing a scratchy face, and TRU CONFESSIONS I am scared of any non-Abe Lincoln facial hair (what are you hiding under all that beard?!).

Oh, and for the record, I soooo call all of the above.

1:47 a.m. - December 9, 2009

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